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Hmm…

December 18, 2009 · No Comments

My eldest brother is the most immature among all of us.

-_-

He uses his emotions way too much rather than his logic.

I think… I am the opposite of him.

Opposite to the sense that it’s also not good.

I use too much logic, it’s annoying.

Anyway, I haven’t seen him in months.

He got angry with Tatay because he said he barely helps him. He hid all of his sorrows - everything that our parents did to him that was bad, was stored somewhere in him and he never forgot them. He would always tell them about it if ever our parents are telling him that he’s being irresponsible.

But Dad paid for his and his family’s rent for months. They always buy the baby pampers and bring them food.

Dad made him study through college, comsci, even electronics and medtranscription. He bought his first guitar. He had given him endless stuffs that even I think is more than what our parents had given me.

But he still thinks otherwise. He blames them, that now, he’s 27/28 with no permanent job and 2 kids with his girlfriend living in some squater area. He thinks it’s their fault because our parents made him leave the house when he was in elementary. I know it’s my parents fault.

But see, they continued to make him go to school in highschool,  but he didn’t study very well. TO the point that he had to repeat. AGain, he thinks it’s their fault. This time, I know it’s  not our parents’ fault.

He had a child with another girl when he was in college. They paid half of the labor whatever. My parents, I mean. Still… there was no thank you? he might be thankful, but he’ll forget about those things once my dad is scolding him.

He decides too quickly and is gullible.

Right now, he’s thinking of getting a van and go into carpooling. Of course, that would be illegal. But, I wonder if he knows where he’s gonna carpool? He can’t just stay in one place and ask for people to get somewhere!

Even if it’s illegal, these illegal carpoolings have orgs and he needs process to be able to get there. It won’t be easy too. Also, if he’s caught, his name would be on the list and his liscence -which I think is already expired - will also be taken and he could be put to jail if the traffic enforcers won’t accept KOTONG or money.

He’s all happy about this idea, as if it’s that simple. My dad is furious. Kuya will be investing 10k for this. And it’s not even a good business.

-_-

He doesn’t know us all either. He doesn’t know me. I talked to him via chat today. And I tried to explain to him about his situation which I SHOULD NOT DO because I’m the BUNSO. -_-

But he replies as if he hadn’t read my messages. -_-

He still thinks of me as multi-lingual sister.

I  guess it is to be expected. I don’t know him either…

He’s all talk and no action.

He says he loves us all and he’s trying his best.

But we’ll find out that he’s cheating with his girlfriend(2 kids) and he comes home late and is wasting money calling cellphones [when he had our bayantel phone].

I don’t understand.

~*~

The CONVO

My bro Isaac was the one online so…

BUZZ!!!
Isaac: si allouh toh
Euclid: hello kmusta na ang bunso kong kapatid? ehehehe
Isaac: ehto humihinga pa
BUZZ!!!
Euclid: miss ko na mga kapatid kong siraulo
BUZZ!!!
Euclid: ako si kuya keep on smiling parin kahit grabe na problems
Euclid:
Euclid: ang korni.. san ka na ngaun stay?
Euclid:
Isaac: sa dorm
Euclid: ilang taon ka na allouh?
Isaac: 19
Euclid: kahit di kayo nakakasama namimis ko kayo lahat jan!
Euclid: promise
Isaac: ang drama e
Isaac: hahaha
Euclid: bwahahaha.. ganyan talaga..
Euclid: smile lang sa mga probs naten
Euclid: balang araw maiintindihan ninyo sinsabi ko
Euclid: kaya nga badtrip sakin si tatay eh
Euclid: bwahahaha
Euclid: sa totoo lang ang pinaka namimis ko jan si isaac..
Isaac: halata nga wahahahaha
Euclid: sinasabi nila parehas kami pero hindi eh…
Euclid: love lang kasi niya ako
Euclid: pero i always keep on smiling kasi happy ako naging part kayo ng life ko
Euclid: drama ko noh? bwahahaha
Euclid: i
Isaac: sobra
Euclid: ayaw kasi nila nanay na maging masaya si kuya
Isaac: sows
Euclid: ok lang.. kahit bobo daw ako
Isaac: dami na nilang tulong sayo kuya
Euclid: bobo daw ako.. haler~~~!!!!
Euclid: tangina nagtatanong nga saking mga graduate ng computer science kung anu gagawin nila s mga computer nila
Euclid: tapos bobo daw ako.. yoohooo
Euclid: pag meron na web cam dito.. makikita mo kung papano lumaki si eumi…
Euclid: basta ako love ko parin kayo kahit anu pa sabihin ninyo sakin
Euclid: specially isaac
Isaac: pero dapat hindi lang dun, dapat practical hindi lang yung book knowledge dapat sa decisions din sa buhay dapat naiisip din yung mga consequence ng mga gagawin. Pero anu ba alam ko, wala siguro harharhar. Basta ako hindi maglalandi. haha
Euclid: kahit sinasabi nila na parehas daw kami.. hindi totoo un kasi meron ng sariling utak si isaac.. and malaki na xa… sinasabi ko sa kanya na wag nya akong gayahin..
Isaac: di naman por que sinabi nila na pareho kau pareho kau…. syempre… hehehe alam rin nila yun kuya
Euclid: sa totoo lang i’am still always thankful kay God kasi binibigyan parin nya kami ng blessings kahit ganito lang ako ngaun
Euclid: pero ang hindi mawawala sakin is mahal ko kayonglahat.. and i’m sorry kung meron man akong nasabi or nagawang masama sa family natin
Euclid: i have to be strong allouh
Euclid: someday you’ll realize it.. and when that day comes andito parin ako para sa mga kapatid ko
Euclid: kahit advice lang lang…..
Euclid: alam mo bilib na bilib ako sau kasi ikaw ung utol ko a muliti languange…
Euclid: shet i hate english..i hate that subject nung high school pero.. nakikita ko ngaun  na its realy worthit if na perfect mo ang mga gusto mo
Euclid: kumusta na pala ung nanay ko?
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
Isaac: tulog na ata…~ nasa labas ako e
Isaac: nasa kwarto pala
Isaac: haha
Euclid: okieeee
Euclid:
Euclid: san ka ba?
Euclid: bat nasalabas ka ng ?
Euclid: san si isaac?
Isaac: nasa kwarto aku ngaun.. si isaac natutulog
Euclid: ayoko nasasaktan yan si isaac.. patay sakin sumakit jan
Euclid: ah..
Euclid: okie..
Euclid: tulog na ung babaero mong kapatid?
Euclid: nag patulog daw xa jan ng babae ah
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
Euclid: ung tatay mo bigtime na diba? bumili xa ng i7 core na pc…. para kahit end of the  world na hindi parin kupas ung processor
Euclid:
Isaac: di ko alam e haha
Isaac: ewan. palagi naman natutulog dito yun bitch. pero hindi dito natutulog ngayon
Euclid: ah..
Euclid: allouh anu ba ginagawa mo ngaun sa pc?
Euclid: san ka ba nagppc ngaun?
Euclid: sa duo?
Isaac: nagtatype kasi aku e
Euclid: okie…
Euclid: senxa na.. wag mo na lang sabihin kila nanay ung mga sinabi ko bwahahaha
Euclid:
Euclid is typing…
Isaac: oki

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Can’t write!!!!!!!!!! RANT RANT RANT

December 18, 2009 · No Comments


RANDOM PHOTO FTW

4 drafts no where to go.

U_U I must concentrate.

However, with my school stuff… I don’t think I’ll be able to ever think of finishing my shorts.

School is a friggin hindrance! GAHAHAHAHAHA

Where will my shorts take me anyway? A lot of places.

School is solid though, if you know what I mean.

uh… I do not want to be a teacher. I do not want to be a teacher. I’d rather be a tutor…but never a freaking teacher. Actually, I don’t want to be in a company private or public. I don’t like deadlines or rules and regulations. -_- I don’t like formal crap. I don’t like applying for a job I don’t like interviews I don’t like myself because it’ll be hard for me to get a good job because of my grades which is totally my fault and I don’t like the fact that I think that it’ll be hard for me to get a job because of how I look. I don’t like writing my resume cause I’m really not gonna write anything, because there really is nothing to write.

That’s it then? Freelancer. Where the bloody hell is that gonna take me? Nowhere.

So…so…so…

I am stuck. Stuck here. To do my future job -whatever that is.

I don’t think I’ll have enough money to write. I want to write. Like, right now. I want to. Like really really really want to. I need 5 hours to do this crap- no interruptions just me and this computer and loads of books and dreams. But.. I should sleep and work on language and literature assessment and studying for assessment 2 and teaching profession.

I’m okay with literary criticism. It doesn’t hinder my thoughts. It amplifies it. Every damn philosopher out there had this brilliant suggestions and criticism about what literature is suppose to be and it’s bloody entertaining that I apply all the good suggestions in my shorts and as much as possible, stay away from the bad stuff. They give me brilliant ideas and see more to everything that has to do with stories - composing stories. Really brilliant.

But if I have to live alone I’d be SURVIVING life not living it.

I am REALLY REALLY concerned of the future. I must not worry though - the Bible says.

I just CANNOT SEE ME after 10 years.

I wrote a letter to myself from 2004 I’m suppose to open it on July 23, 2010.

It’s freaky to say that I can imagine myself like how I am right now when I was 14.

-_- Now, I just don’t know. I can’t see myself.

Huhuhu I must be dead in 10 years.

LoL this is not reborn’s influence. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Ok, 30 minutes in. I need rants too, the only way to stay sane.

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Obscure

December 17, 2009 · No Comments

I always tell myself every morning to never forget my dreams until I get to write here in my blog…

but now that I’m here, I’ve forgotten them.

I always forget them. -_-

I forgot my dream because of avatar. hahaha

They felt familiar with each other. So as I was trying to remember it… I end up seeing avatar.

Anyway, there was one fact that stayed. I knew I was being chased by someone. He/she  was trying to kill me. That’s all that was left.

PIssed off at this.

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